Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
