she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
