last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
