READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
someone owes me an orgasm
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
