Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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