Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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