You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
