White coat. Heels.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
