R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
