So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
