I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Who died my cat blue again?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
