we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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