never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
