you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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