You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
North Korea, Best Korea!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
