It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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