Yo dont text me then not text me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
