I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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