I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
