I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
