OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
