I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
