we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
