Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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