just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
