its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
