her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
