Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
