Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
