fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Randomize
