hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
