6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
