Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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