I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
