cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
