She's JV to your varsity
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
