Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
