So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
