Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
