Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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