one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
