I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
