I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
