I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
