I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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