did you get engaged???
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
