I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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