my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
