Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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