He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
