so explain again why im purple
no
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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