I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize