why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
