Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
