she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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