we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it glows. i had to have it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
