I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
