bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
