whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
